Tuesday, September 30, 2014

the first days of engagement

The world of a post-engaged couple is a world that nobody understands unless you've been through it.

Do you have a date set? 

Those six little words that are seemingly harmless and excitement filled are also inevitable words that immediately transition you from a post-engagement bliss into action-oriented list making mania (or was that just me?).
I recognize that this is a harmless and fun thing to ask a couple that just had this profound shared moment, but let's be real here. How the heck does anyone have a date set within hours of making the decision to get married?

Sure, we had an idea of when we want to get married and discussed venue ideas in the past, but those were all abstract discussions, and not the real this is actually happening and a decision needs to be made discussions. 

After being asked about when the big day will be from approximately 5-6 people within a few hours of our announcement, I immediately started thinking about all of those other recently engaged couples that had likely starting to think about setting a date and booking a venue, and I started to feel this fire burn under me and a panicked rush filled my chest. Must. Book. Venue. Must. Lock. Down. Date.

I may not have cried when Joel asked me to be his wife, but I definitely shed my first bridal tears in the first 48 hours of being engaged. It was one of those all of the emotions at once cries. 

yup all of those // via All Things Linguistic
I was overwhelmed with love and appreciation for everything Mr. Narwhal put into our proposal (I'm a delayed crier by nature) and by all of the messages and outpouring of love and support from friends and family. I felt rushed to get things done and started. I felt pressure from opinions I was already getting and I was utterly exhausted from the lack of sleep we'd had since this all went down (all of the excitement had led to two very late nights of long talks about what we were going to do). 

It was a good cry, because I think it released a lot and allowed me to clear my head and get it ready for this new chapter of our life. 

In the 48 hours post-engagement I learned a few lessons that have become my mantra for our entire engagement. 
  1. It is one day. An important day. But one day. Don't forget that. 
  2. People will have opinions. They are just excited for you (most of the time) and are trying to help. Remember that you two know what's right for you as a couple and do not let said opinions influence how you feel about decisions you have already made and feel good about. 
  3. This day is about you as a couple and the people that come together to support your relationship and the commitment you are making to each other. Remember that while it's important to consider everyone that is attending, you will not please everyone. 
That last point is really important to us. We want our wedding to be a true representation of us (ahem, traditional, not so much). We recognize the challenge and while it might not be easy at times, we are excited to pull it off. Obviously there will be some traditions present; however, we always want to check a decision with "Is this us?" versus it being a "We should..." 

personal photo

We care so much about the people that will attend our wedding. We wouldn't have a wedding if we didn't care about the people that were coming. That being said, as long as people are warm, being fed some food (we have different plans on this as well) and there are drinks, really that's what is most important. I'm not going to worry about offending someone because we aren't conforming to certain traditions or doing something atypical.

Opinions from other people are appreciated, you get a lot of ideas and help from them, but being conscious of them as being only opinions and not letting them influence us when they don't have to is important to us. 

So with all that said, we really felt the pressure those first few days to find the venue that suited our out of the box vision and didn't cost us an arm and a leg. Or in the case of weddings, both arms and both legs.

Nelsie wanted to be sure our venue choice involved him // personal photo 

Do you have a wedding planning mantra? Were those first few days of engagement really stressful for you?

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